No 3: STUCCO
PHOTO BY KARINA
LUCIA AUERBACH
A great wall stands between me and you.
You press your body up against the white stucco on the other side. Your arms pound so mighty on the surface that little purple love marks appear on your skin. They pop up almost like they’ve been animated to appear. They’re kisses from the universe.
You scream so loudly for the wall to be torn down. You pound your head now with fevor, your forehead makes contact with the little peaks of the white cement. They dig into your skin. Little marks of red, juicy and opaque, appear all over the top of your face. It’s a facial vampires adore.
One leg holds you steady on the ground. The other tips its toes up and slams into the wall. You know, the music you’re making doesn’t sound very nice.
I understand you’re frustrated. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.
But don’t give up now! I’m sure the wall will disintegrate at some point! All of your pounding must be worth it! Keep it going!
As you tear at the hinges of concrete, I sit on the floor. My back is a meager 2 inches away from the wall you’re so desperate to tear down. I can’t lean against it anymore. My knees used to be white, but now they’re just grey and purple. Love bites
And now my smile has turned manic, and I laugh at the sound of your pain.
It’s mine too, you know.
I tear at the backs of my fingers' nails until they run red and I lurch my hair up into the air. I turned it behind me. Reverse warrior. My hand lines up with yours. We both didn’t know it. My laughter turns into tears and I am so, so sorry, but you must remain there.
Yet if we both look up, we can see that this wall is just a set. And there is no ceiling. There is no ceiling for either of us to break through.
Around me lie a million shards of mirrors. Broken into imperfect bits. Blood singes each corner of the glass. My legs and arms and stomach, god my stomach, it shows where it cut.
As I stumble to my feet, I let each vertebrae curl upwards. My head doesn’t want to rise. As a zombie, my feet stomp over towards larger shards and I stare down at a distorted version of who I used to be.
She lies behind the wall.
You’re silent now.
Why are you silent,
Why did you give up.
Hello?
Hello?
Why aren’t you screaming?
Why has yellow goo gone through the wall? Why can I see it on my side now?
Why have you fallen into my demise?
I’m sorry. I’ll do better tomorrow.
