No 3: SOAP

IMAGE BY KARA WARDEN

KARA WARDEN

i slide into my bathtub 

readying to drown myself

wait

the body is not ready to be found floating, pale, and with purple lips

the cheeks are not yet sunken and the calves are not yet curved correctly

not to mention, before entering the tub for the last time 

her arms must slip into a cream nightgown with three ivory buttons 

and her legs 

must peek out

shyly

from the bottom

and blood must be let, in a thin and glorious trickle, from her wrists 

this is to make the water the color of a cherub’s cheeks!

so, because it is not yet time for drowning, i let my lips linger above the water’s surface

pass my palm over the outline of my ribs

discovering the rhythm of my ribcage 

I poke shy fingers into crimson rounds

And wonder

what would it be like to run a tongue on my nipples? 

or to intertwine legs with mine

or to wrap two 

good strong hands 

around my neck 

and watch me writhe in pink water

oh what fun 

it would be 

to be my oppressor 

to torture the little girl that I am

to be my voyeur

i would unclurl her delicate fingers from my arm

avoid her seeking blue eyed gaze

only when her corpse floated with thin legs atop a tub of crimson water

would I caress her 

and

whisper in her pink ears

that she need enjoy her baths

I would wring out her hair

combing it with my new fingers

and softly say

I did not know you were drowning

because I was busy bathing 

in a cream nightgown